


Frayed At The Edges

by DreamShadower



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, No beta besides me myself and I, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:00:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25198885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamShadower/pseuds/DreamShadower
Summary: Going to Santa Barbara didn’t give Ellie the closure she wanted, but what was needed instead. Ellie returns to Jackson in hopes of mending old and new wounds. Or unravel at the seams.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 122





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ellie has been through hell. This game gave me one hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride. I just want Ellie, Dina and JJ to be a happy family. I have not wrote anything in years. I’m honestly surprised I was able to get this all down in a semi coherent word dump.
> 
> Edited the end of the chapter cause I did that at 3 am half asleep.

Chapter 1

The journey from Santa Barabara to Jackson was slower than she would have liked. Trying not to aggravate her wounds was something she never learned how to do well. Pure pig headed stubbornness as Joel would say kept her going.

_Old man, what would you think of me right now? Looking forward to farm life again._

The thought couldn’t help crossing her mind. Thankful that the mere thought of him didn't send a jolt of grief through her. From once dreading farm rotation as a teenager to hoping to be back on it once more.

Running her good hand through her hair she couldn’t help the sigh that escaped her lips. She had tried to clean up somewhat at camp before making the trip. A (decently) clean shirt and flannel over some jeans.

Idly she couldn’t help fiddling with the stumps on her left hand. A new habit she’d yet to break. Jackson was just a stone's throw away now but not her goal.

The Farm. The surrounding hills and trees were still the same that hadn’t changed in the months she’d been gone. Still as beautiful as ever under the morning light. Carefully avoiding the booby traps Dina had engineered and placed around the perimeter. Signs and all. _Dina._

Her heart nearly skipped a beat at the thought of her. Taking a deep steadying breath she made her way up the side paths towards the gates. At a glance the farm looked the same as she left. Something was off and she just couldn't put her finger one it.

_One step in front of the other Ellie. Almost there now._

Standing on the porch the feeling of something being _off_ was realized. No chairs or table where they’d once sit to talk and laugh. Looking through the window made her heart drop in her chest. Empty. The house was empty.

A sound escaped her throat. Some feeble attempt at a laugh her body tried to make. Slowly, so slowly she opened the door. With a slight creak the door opened. Walking in she couldn’t help but notice how _barren_ the place felt.

Taking a deep breath and exploring what was once her, _their,_ home. Feeling more like a stranger in a strange place. Only a few bulk furniture pieces remained downstairs, everything else was stripped to the bones.

_What were you expecting Ellie? She said she couldn’t do this again. Hoping she’d be here and things would just, what magically be better._

Heading upstairs to what was once their room a lone pillow and some sheets for the bed were all that remained. Only one room left. Heading to the final door of what used to be her little artist nook. Opening this door revealed that this room unlike all the rest was still full.

The posters were still on the wall. The collection of records, her paintings and drawings, all of it was still here. All of _her_ things were still here.

WIth a heavy heart she sat down on the chair. This time a laugh came out, a sad pathetic laugh she couldn’t quite choke back.

_She left. She really left and took everything with her. Well almost everything._

Glancing at the room once more her eyes settled on the guitar case. Opening the case revealed the guitar, just as she left it. Gingerly she picked it up. Fingers sliding over the cords. Well most of them. Her left hand ached. As if her phantom fingers wanted to clutch it once more.

Slowly as if holding JJ as a newborn all over again she cradled the guitar to her, and played. The sound wasn’t the same, coming out all wrong. No longer able to hit the chords like she once could. But she played anyway and sang.

_If I were to lose you_

_I’d surely lose myself_

_Everything I have found here_

_I’ve not found by myself_

_Try and sometimes you’ll succeed_

_To make this man of me_

_All of my stolen missing parts_

_I’ve no need for anymore_

_I believe_

_And I believe ‘cause I can see_

_Our future days_

_Days of you and me_

Letting the note fade there she took a breath. Idly stroking the neck of the guitar with her remaining fingers while gazing out the window at the trees beyond. After a few minutes she gently placed the guitar back into the case once more.

Morning light was already fading into midday. If she hurried she could make it to Jackson by nightfall. Evening if she pushed herself.

Shaking herself out of her stupor and casting one final glance at the room she spotted something peeking out of the record crate. Moving the records revealed JJ’s stuffed toy elephant. Clutching Ollie to herself a wave of determination swept over her. 

Jackson, she had to get to Jackson. Tucking Ollie safely into her back pocket she set off. Closing and locking up the house once more. Stopping only to put a quick bandage over the clicker bite. Didn’t need that drama on top of her return.

The route back to Jackson embedded in her mind. As fast her body would allow she followed the familiar trails. Back to Jackson, back to Dina and JJ.

\-----

There it is. Jackson. The walls standing strong, light shining into the evening sky. As a passing thought she couldn’t help but wonder if they didn’t forget her in the time she was gone. Raising her hands she walked into sight of the tower and guards.

“Halt,” One of the guards yelled at her. “Keep your hands up and identify yourself. What business ya got here?”

“Name’s Ellie, I live here. Or well did.” After a moment of silence a call to open her up was issued. Slowly the gates opened to allow her through.

After passing through an older thin man with grey hair, Mr. Reid nodded at her. “Welcome back Ellie, you’ve been gone some time. Maria is over by the greenhouses checking on things with the Mrs. I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you.” 

“Thanks Mr. Reid. Guess I got lucky with you being up there to recognize me.” With a wave goodbye she pulled Ollie out of her back pocket as she walked towards the greenhouses she couldn’t help but fiddle with him. With a passing thought she thought about heading towards Dina’s old house. She wasn’t even sure she would be there. Maybe at Jesse's parents the Changs instead? No best to see Maria and find out from her.

Following her feet she wound up in front of the greenhouses. Tucking Ollie safely back in his spot in her pocket she walked through the garden area. She spotted Maria talking to Mrs Reid. Making her way a little closer she saw Mrs. Reid noticed her and wrapped up whatever conversation she was having.

“Ellie!” Maria made her way over to her looking her over with worry. “You’re back. We’ve been worried about you. I nearly killed Tommy myself when I found out about his visit.”

“It’s alright Maria, I left on my own choice. Tommy just pointed the way.” Steeling herself she had to ask. “Where’s, uh where’s Dina. I uh, stopped by the farm and no one, no one was there.”

Fiddling with her fingers was something she never quite managed to get over. A nervous tic Dina would tease her about. Especially playing any card game where she would get mercilessly beaten. Or just her general presence really. Back when it was all playful flirting and banter.

Maria’s eyes fell on her fingers and half raised a hand towards her a question in her eyes. “Oh Ellie, she’s here in Jackson, JJ too.Wanted to be somewhere close to the Changs with JJ and all. Look for the dark blue house. Used to belong to the Whitman’s before they upgraded to a bigger place. Saw her earlier today. Should be finishing up laundry JJ willing.”

Nodding once she gave Maria a smile. Small but genuine. “Thanks Maria. We’ll talk later.” Nodding at her she went to turn away to go find Dina.

“And Ellie,” turning to face once again she saw the heartfelt smile on her face. “Real good to have you back kid. Don’t think I need to remind you where the clinic is huh?” 

Laughing Ellie surprised even herself in giving Maria a quick squeeze of a hug. Maria while slightly surprised squeezed her right back.

“Don’t worry I know the route there just fine. Having marched there with Jesse plenty of times.” Squeezing her arm she headed off for Dina’s new place. With a determined stride she cut through the side streets and alleys before coming up to the house.

Seeing said blue house she couldn’t help but falter. _Only been over three months gone now Ellie_ . _She’ll only murder me a little. Just a small death and resurrect me and do it again._ Thinking of the best ways to grovel on her journey back and none seeming to do justice.

Spying over the wooden fence some laundry still hanging outside she figured Dina would be in the back if what Maria said was true.

_Fuck it, I’m going all in._

Carefully opening and closing the wooden side gate she made her way quietly into the yard. Rounding the corner her breath caught in her throat. Dina was taking down the laundry with her back to her. Just a simple thing but she had never looked more beautiful to her than she did now. The dying sunlight highlighting her with a golden glow.

Seeing her now made her realize how much she _missed_ them. Dina and her potato. 

Depositing her pack on the ground. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat. Hoping her voice didn’t waver and crack as she felt her body want to do.

“Hey Dina.”

She knew she heard her. Knew from the way her body locked up. From easy grace of folding laundry to unyielding rigidness. Dropping the shirt she had in her hand.Slowly Dina turned around slowly.

Locking eyes time seemed to freeze upon that moment. A range of emotions seemed to sweep over Dina’s face. Disbelief, shock, happiness before settling on anger. No not anger. Rage.

Dina advanced on her. Of all the possible greetings her mind could conjure up a slap was not one of them. Honestly though she shouldn’t be so surprised. Dina was always a spitfire. The slap sent her stumbling more from surprise than anything. 

“Hey Dina. That’s what you have to say. You just waltz in here after being gone _for over three months!_ And say “Hey Dina.”” The shorter woman looked like a powder keg ready to blow. Pent up worry and fury on the verge of exploding.

“That’s what you get for leaving,” slapping her hard. Then pulling her close by her shirt she’s being pulled into a scorching kiss. One of pain, longing, and a dozen other emotions. Letting her go Dina takes a step back.

“And that was for coming back.”

Rubbing her left cheek where it still stung after the slap she saw Dina freeze again. Belatedly she realized she used her left hand.

“Looks like I’m going to have to cut the Little piggy story from 10 to 8.” Flexing her fingers at her.

“You, you idiot!” Dina threw herself at her ending up as just one big tangle of limbs on the ground. Dina couldn’t contain the near sob while berating how stupid she was and hitting her on her shoulder. Pinned as she was under Dina’s fury she couldn’t help but smile.

“You’re beautiful,” the words seemed to snap Dina out of her anger.

“Three months Ellie! You’ve been gone for over three months and you just come back and crack jokes about missing fingers. Then say I’m beautiful while I’m still yelling at you!” Dina’s fury seemed to subside long enough to get them both to sit up. After she got in a few more punches.

Being jostled so much she couldn’t help the wince that escaped. Clutching at her side where her haphazard stitches were from that encounter with the tree. Thankfully it didn’t feel as if the stitches burst again.

“Show me.” Dina's voice brooked no argument so with a nod she slowly lifted up her shirts. Revealing her side with mottled bruising and an angry red area where her stitches are. Infection having set in.

Tenderly Dina reached out and ran her fingers on her side. Featherlight as her touches were a grimace still came to her face.

“We are going to get up and you are going to go into the kitchen and sit down and wait for me. I can tell you haven’t been to the clinic you stubborn ass.” With that Dina gets back up and picks up the laundry basket and heads inside.

Doing as told she gets up, grabs her pack and heads to sit at the kitchen table. Waiting for Dina. 

Dina comes back shortly after with a first aid kit. Gesturing at her side she starts there. There’s a silence hanging over them both. Dina doesn’t say anything more. No questions as to how she got the new wounds and scars. Just slowly tending to them. The silence is worse than the anger.

“I, uh I got that in a trap. Assholes had it to where it snared you by the ankle and hoisted you to dangle upside down a tree. I, ow!” wincing from the alcohol and pressure against her side.

“I didn’t feel a thing.” Dina keeps diligently working away at her side. Cleaning and putting some cream on the wound. Slowly working to bandage her up.

Suppressing a pout she continues. “These assholes had this snare and when I got caught up it threw me against the tree and into a branch that impaled my side. Dropped my knife in attempt to cut myself free and passed out till they arrived. Which is when I got this.”

Gesturing to her right hand where the clicker bite was still covered. With more tenderness than she deserved Dina took off the bandage and sucked in a breath. Tracing the bite marks delicately before moving to care for that wound as well.

“These assholes had a fucking clicker as the counterweight. I mouthed off at one and he thought it’d be a good idea to feed me to the clicker. Bad move, clicker ate him and I got free.” Dina remained silent as she recounted her tale.

After that was her left hand. Taking her hand Dina carefully cleaned her stubs still saying nothing. Honestly she preferred red hot angry Dina, she knew what to expect then. Cold indifferent Dina. She didn’t know where to begin. And found herself babbling to fill the silence.

“This, this wasn’t from the gang. My fingers, I uh.” clenching her other hand instead she took a deep breath before soldiering through. “Abby. I lost my fingers to Abby.”

Finally Dina looked up at her. Her face closed off. She didn’t know what to make of this Dina. That thought frightened more than the horde in Vegas ever could.

Standing up Dina began to clean up the kit before getting ready to put it away once more. As Dina put the last of the supplies away she spoke. So soft she almost missed the whisper.

“Was it worth it?” A simple question with such a loaded answer.

She couldn’t help but fiddle with her fingers stubs and all once more. “It’s not what I wanted, but it’s what I needed.”

Dina doesn’t say anything and walks away to put up the kit. She comes back later and they sit there at the table. Awkward doesn’t begin to describe how she feels. Her heart breaks that of all people she’s awkward around Dina.

“Ellie, I don’t know what to say. I’m glad you’re alive, glad you’re back.” Sighing she leans back in the chair staring up at the ceiling as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world. 

“I’m also so damn angry at you. You left. You left after I asked you to stay. You didn’t just leave me, you left JJ. _Our son._ Our son who cried for you after you left. Our son who kept looking for you.” The words hurt worse than her side and missing fingers combined. A blow to her soul.

“What the hell does what you wanted and needed even mean? How do I know you won’t just leave again? That you won’t just pick up and leave because it’s not over?” Dina’s questions come in rapid fire. No longer staring at the ceiling and looking right at her.

Grabbing Ollie from where he was tucked away and fiddling with him I began to speak.

“Dina, it’s over. I’m never leaving Jackson again. Not unless you and JJ go. I know I don’t deserve your trust, but it’s over. I want to be in your life as much as you’ll have me. For as long as you’ll have me.” Looking up from Ollie to Dina I see her hunched over clutching herself. Staring at the toy.

“I, I found him in my records. I went to The Farm first. Arrived mid morning and discovered you left and a empty house.” Another weak laugh, “well mostly empty.”

Clutching Ollie tightly Ellie tries to push through.  _ You’ve only rehearsed all the different things to say for a good month and half. Let’s not be a chicken shit and falter now. _

“I meant what I said about it being over. My words mean shit right now. So I’m going to do my best to prove to you I’m not going anywhere. I, I hope, that is I’d like to still see JJ.”  _ Smooth Ellie, totally smooth. _

Dina was silent again, looking at Ollie clutched, no cradled in Ellie’s damaged hands.

“He’s with his grandparents tonight. Robin has been feeling better with his back and he wanted to catch up on some quality grandkid time,” Dina said softly. 

“Whatever happens to us from here. I don’t know. JJ is still your son too Ellie. I won’t keep him from you. But I swear to God, if you leave again don’t come back. Or I’ll murder you myself.” Getting up she heads to the fridge pulling out a container.

Nodding, Ellie knows we still need to  _ talk.  _ Still go over everything that happened in Santa Barbara. So many things need to be said and done. Dina’s talking snaps her out of that train of thought.

“Now I’m going to heat up this soup and you’re going to eat it. Then you’ll go take a shower. Where are you staying?” Dina moved gracefully through the kitchen. 

_ Damn she’s hot when she’s angry.  _

“I haven’t thought that far ahead to be honest.” Rubbing the back of her head bashfully. “I can go over to Maria’s once I’ve showered.”

Dina just sighs. “Of course you haven’t dumbass. No, I'll make up the spare bed.” There’s no bite to her words anymore. 

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth she just nodded along. “I am a dumbass.”

A brief smile curls on Dina’s lips. She dips her head to try to hide it. Dina is radiant when she smiles and a warm sensation blossoms through Ellie’s chest at being the cause. Her hand itches to pull out her journal and sketch Dina once more. Resisting the temptation, too soon, too much.

Setting a bowl in front Ellie and some bread on the table Dina motions to eat. Not wanting to get on Dina’s bad side even worse and because Ellie’s stomach is demanding food, she obeys. Relishing Dina’s cooking once more.

All too soon the food is gone mopping the last bit of soup with some bread. Dina is (pleasantly) shocked but hides it. WIthout a word she makes another bowl and that disappears too.

“Tomorrow morning I’m taking you to the clinic and you will get properly checked out.” She says tone brooking no argument. “Then we’ll get JJ. Understand?”

“OK.” It’s a soft response but it’s all Ellie can muster. Tiredness from the food and journey are starting to set in. 

Dina’s offering more than she could have hoped for. Maybe, just maybe things might work out. She hopes, and follows every direction the woman she loves gives her. 

_ I’ll be damned if I fuck up this second chance. _

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie is whipped. They pick up JJ and start to finally have that much needed talk. Before being interrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta. Just slapping this down.

After collapsing into the small bed Dina made up for her, Ellie slept. No dreams or nightmares disturbed her slumber. A sort of peace Ellie couldn’t last remember feeling settled into her bones. Or as close as she could feel.

Light filtered into the small room through the window. Ellie stretched and couldn’t quite believe where she was. Slowly rising and sniffing the air. Dina’s cooking wafting up to tease her.

Making her way down the steps she padded into the kitchen to see Dina bustling about. 

Trying not to stare she pulls out the chair and sits at the table. Not really sure with what else to do with herself.

“Oh good you’re up. Eat, then we’re going to the clinic.” Dina placed a plate of eggs, sausage and toast in front of her. Even after eating the soup from last night her stomach growled.

Nodding she tucks in and enjoys the meal, even if the silence was a bit awkward. Not sure how to proceed with Dina. Honestly she was just happy she was allowed to be this close.

Finishing up and placing their dishes in the sink they both ready to head out.  
  


* * *

One miserable clinic trip later Ellie was all repatched up. Rubbing her side softly she couldn’t help the grimace that came to her face. 

Doctor Roberts was a stern woman and wanted to examine her hand considering her state. Only Dina’s intervention saved her from that. Ellie had conceded by letting the doctor redo the haphazard stitches she had done on her side. That had hurt considering she had busted them on the trip back, twice.

After giving a tongue lashing for being rash and to not do anything else to burst her stitches she was cleared. That Dina was the one given the medicine and not her she chose to ignore.

Now they wandered in silence back towards the houses. Ellie couldn’t help the anxiousness at seeing her potato again. How big had he gotten since she was gone? Just over three months was a long time for a baby after all.

Her heart dropped at the thought of him rejecting her.

Coming up to the house she couldn’t help the pang of nostalgia hit her. Same brown as before with flecks peeling off here and there. The dent in the siding of the door from where Jesse and her were trying to carry in a freezer Eugene repaired still there.

Dina’s hand on her arm broke her out of her thoughts. “Come on, let’s get the little goober.”

Dina knocked on the door more for her benefit than her own before entering altogether.

“Robin, I’ve come to collect JJ.” Dina called through the house. Moving with an ease Ellie did not share.

“Dina!” I could hear Robin calling out from somewhere farther in the house. “I wasn’t expecting you till later. JJ and I just finished arguing over trains. He insisted they looked better strewn over the floor than the play mat.” 

Robin lovingly recounted as he rounded the corner with JJ in his arms. Her breath nearly caught in her throat at her potato.

He had gotten so _big._

Dina had gone over and plucked JJ from his arms. Cooing at him as he made baby noises at her. “Ma, ma ma!” JJ seemed to proclaim proudly, train waving wildly as he talked. JJ talked happily, swinging the train through the air as he seemed to tell her all about it. 

This time she felt her heart did drop. She had missed his first words

_He’s talking already. What else have I missed?_

The thought made bile rise to the back of her throat. Pushing it down she looked over to Robin. “Hey Mr. Chang.” Offering a weak smile as best she could.

“Ellie, how many times do I have to tell you. Just Robin is fine. Welcome back.” He offered a smile, and she couldn’t help thinking of Jesse. He had the same smile.

Fighting the urge to rub her hands together she gave a dry chuckle. Thankful that JJ drew the attention back to himself. He was a safe topic.

“Come on goober, let’s get your bag. You’re coming with us. Say bye to grandpa Robin.” Taking the hand without the train she waved it at him. “Bye bye!” Retreating from the room with JJ.

Ellie and Robin were left in the living room together. Their safety net spirited away.

“So you’re back. Are you staying?” The question itself was innocent really. Small talk, with a big impact.

Taking in a ragged breath Ellie responded. “Yeah, yeah I’m staying.”

Nodding at that Robin didn’t push further. Ellie was thankful when Dina and JJ returned. Taking the bag Dina gave her.

“Bye Mr. uh sorry Robin. Nice seeing you again.” He just chuckled and gave Dina and JJ a hug. Whispering something to them she couldn’t hear.

With a kiss to JJ’s head he waved them away. “Bye Ellie, don’t be a stranger.”

She liked to think she did a good job leaving. Not fleeing as she wanted too.

Mostly.

* * *

JJ was a very happy and energetic baby. Not stopping his babbling and clutching his train in his little hands. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of her potato. 

Ellie was in a daze and had barely registered they were back at the old Whatman house. So focused on JJ happily playing away.

“I have some laundry I have to finish bringing in.” Kissing JJ on his head she whispered. “Look who’s back, keep her out of trouble while I’m gone ok.” With that Dina deposited JJ in her arms.

He had gotten bigger alright, and heavier. His big brown eyes blinked up slowly. For a heart stopping moment that he wouldn’t remember her chilled Ellie to the bone.

For a moment we both just looked at each other.

With an excited cry he giggled and started to show off his train to me. Sitting on the couch Ellie couldn’t help just cradling her potato.

“I missed you potato. I missed you so much.” Nuzzling her head into his she couldn’t help the relief that washed over her. “I have something of yours.”

Setting him down Ellie goes to reach for Ollie out of her pocket. “You forgot this potato.”

“Can’t be the dynamic duo of JJ and Ollie without the other huh?” JJ dropped the train and took Ollie. Happily giving him a shake. He stood against the couch to show her. 

He stood. JJ was _standing._

Standing and bouncing happily in place JJ seemed to be dancing to music only he could hear. Ollie being waved about. JJ tried to take a step and after one attempt toppled over.

Catching him Ellie cradled him in her arms. Ellie couldn’t help the tears that welled in her eyes.”I got you potato, I got you. No matter what I’m never leaving you again.”

Taking in some breaths. “This world isn’t perfect, and it’s not always kind. But I’ll be here for you. We’ll have each other and your Mom. I’ll be here for you, whatever you need.”

Whispering the words over and over Ellie hugged JJ close wrapped up in her son. Her son who was starting to talk. Who was standing and trying to walk.

So wrapped up in her moment she didn’t see Dina in the doorway.

She left them to their moment.

* * *

  
Dinner was a simple affair of rabbit and vegetables. JJ trying to get his food everywhere but his mouth. Having a blast in trying to dodge incoming food and making a grand mess of things. Covered in food and wrestling JJ Ellie couldn’t fight the smile that was on her face.

She didn’t fight it at all.

“Alright potato, you have caused quite the mess. You sir need a bath.” Hoisting him into the air Ellie twirled him around.

“Well since you're offering who am I to say no. By all means get drenched.” Shooing them up the stairs Dina told her where the clean laundry was that had yet to be put away.

Grabbing some clean pajamas and a towel. Ellie decided to ignore that some of her shirts were in the laundry. Best not to dwell on that right now. 

“Alright potato, let’s get you cleaned up and ready for bed.” An easier task said than done. Several water fights later and a soaked shirt as predicted JJ was cleaned. Thankfully the excitement of the day had wore him out.

“Mission accomplished, may I present one clean potato.” With a flourish Ellie showed her JJ. Who was starting to nod off but fighting every moment. Clutching at Ellie’s tank top, her soaked shirt abandoned on the bathroom floor after the water fight.

Taking him from her arms Dina rubbed soothing circles on his back. The sight sent an arrow through Ellie’s heart. _I’ve missed this_.

“Alright you, time for bed.” Heading for the stairs Dina paused, “You coming?”

Ellie liked to think she followed behind normally. That she practically scrambled up the steps after them was another matter. 

Placing JJ in his crib he quickly sat himself up. Happily showing off Ollie in his grasp. “Alright goober time for you to go to sleep.”

Ellie couldn’t help the chuckle that came out. “I don’t think he agrees with you.” 

Walking over to the crib where JJ had pulled himself up. Stubbornly refusing to sleep. “Potato you need sleep. Otherwise you’ll never grow and you’ll be short like your mama.”

That earns her a slap on the arm. “Excuse you, I am plenty tall enough.” She fails to point out that Dina stood up to her full height at the insult.

“My apologies. The only thing short about you is your fuse.” Ellie deadpans. That earns her another slap on the arm. JJ joins in hitting her with Ollie.

“Ow, I’m getting double teamed here. So not fair.” Rubbing her arm where Dina had slapped her. “Et tu, potato.”

He giggled happily as he hit her again.

The tender moment warmed a spot in her heart. _I missed this._ The thought was a spike a pain to the gut. Dina’s and JJ’s antics were a soothing balm. Ellie shook her head determined to not let the good feeling fade.

“Alright come here you.” Picking JJ up Ellie cradled him as he snuggled into her chest. “You need to sleep.”

Humming a lullaby Ellie rocked him in his arms. Ignoring her side that twinged in protest. The aches that still racked her body from all she had been through. None of that mattered with JJ in her arms.

Locking eyes with Dina she began to sing softly to JJ. 

_Hush, little baby don’t you cry_

_Mama’s gonna buy you a mocking bird_

_And if that mockingbird don’t sing_

_Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring_

_And if that diamond ring is brass_

_Mama’s gonna buy you a looking glass_

_And if that looking glass gets broke_

_Mama’s gonna buy you a billy goat_

_And if that billy goat don’t pull_

_Mama’s gonna buy you a cart and bull_

Rocking JJ in her arms as she dances slowly through the room with him. His eyes drooping as he finally starts to doze off. Walking over to Dina so she can kiss his forehead goodnight. She tries not to linger on her lips, yearning for a kiss of her own.

_And if that cart and bull turn over_

_Mama’s gonna buy you a dog called Rover_

_And if that dog called Rover don’t bark_

_Mama’s gonna buy you a horse and cart_

_And if that horse and cart turn round_

_You’ll still be the sweetest potato in town_

_Still be the sweetest potato in town_

_La, la, la, la ,la, la_

_Hush little baby don’t you cry_

Settling him down in his crib. Ellie couldn't help the pure unadulterated love that swept over her. She had missed moments like this. The simple parts of just being a parent all worth it.

“Good night potato.” Tucking him in she tried not to let herself be swept away. For all the nights she missed. Dina’s hand on her shoulder stopped her from getting carried away in her thoughts.

Following Dina’s lead she followed her back down the stairs to the kitchen. Without JJ as a buffer the awkward silence was creeping back into the air. She couldn’t help fiddling with her fingers. Tracing over the stubs that remained on her hand.

Ignoring the drink Dina took out as she poured them both a glass. Dina sat down facing away from her as she began to nurse her drink. They still had to _talk_ and Ellie wasn’t sure how to get the words out. Without them catching in her throat threatening to strangle her.

Biting the bullet Ellie tried to get the words to come. “Dina-”

“Did you finish it?” The question cut her off before the words could try to flow.

“No.”

Pushing forward Ellie had to get the words to come out. All that time agonizing and rehearsing what she would say having left her completely.

“I, I uh let her go,” the words are aid softly. As if speaking any louder would break them. Forging on ahead Ellie had to get the words out. Had to get them out so they would stop choking her. She had to tell Dina she was sorry for leaving.

“Dina I just need you to know I am **so** sorry. I regret leaving how I did. I should have tried talking to you more. You, you didn’t deserve that. Leaving you both behind.” Grasping her arms tight Ellie hunched in on herself in shame. “I don’t know how I can ever make that-”

“You left us. You _left_ us behind Ellie. That’s not something I can just forgive you for.” Dina still hadn’t turned to look at her. The hurt in her voice was raw. That Ellie was the cause made her feel lower than low.

“I understand.” Turning to go Ellie tried to fight the oncoming swell of emotions threatening to boil over.

“But I want to. I can’t right now but-” Dina turned to face her tears still in her eyes. “I’d like to try. So Ellie. Stay.”

Nodding her head was all she could do. Throat choked up of all the things she still has to tell her.”I’d like that. I meant what I said Dina. I’m staying. For good.”

Sitting at the table next to her she placed her left hand on the table. The stubs are still red and angry looking. If she reached out to touch she could take Dina’s hand. She didn’t, leaving it where it lay.

“I’m still angry at you. Hurt that you left.” Downing the last of her drink Dina turned to face her. Placing her hand next to hers just shy of touching. “But I still love you. Which makes the pain worse.”

Ellie couldn’t help leaning in towards Dina, like a moth to a flame. “Maybe we can begin by working on our friendship.”

Ellie heard Dina speak as soft as it was. All her focus was on her lips. Soft and inviting. She remembered the quick passionate one from yesterday. The spell woven between them a fragile thing. Ellie felt the urge, the longing to close the distance between them. To capture those lips in another kiss.

There was a knock on the door breaking the moment. Ellie mourned the loss. Whoever was knocking seemed to only be getting more impatient as they knocked harder. Who would come calling so urgently in the evening?

“Dina? Ellie? Open up.” The cry was punctuated by more knocks.

Tommy.

Tommy was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy shows up and Ellie recounts more of what happened at Santa Barbara.

Seeing Tommy was inevitable after coming back to Jackson. Ellie just wished that their meeting could have been after her moment with Dina. Tommy’s knocking snapper her out of her thoughts.

“If he wakes JJ I’m gonna kill that man.” Dina stands and heads for the door a stormy look on her face. Wrenching open the door before Tommy could break it down. “We **just** got JJ to sleep. If you wake him I will murder you.”

Tommy for his part looked ashamed. Shoving a finger in his face Dina cut him off before he could speak again. “I warned you once before about bringing your shit into my house ever again. If’s that all you brought then get the fuck out.”

“Dina, Dina it’s ok.” 

Coming up behind her Ellie gently laid her hands on Dina’s shoulders. Dina relaxed just the slightest bit into her touch. “I had to talk to him at some point.” Nodding at Tommy she turned her attention to the still bristling women in front of her.

Tommy stood transfixed in the doorway, his gaze on Ellie’s left hand and the missing fingers there. Stepping back she motioned him inside. 

For his part he made sure to keep his distance from Dina and sat on the chair in the living room. Dina chose the far end of the couch from him. With a sigh Ellie joined her on the couch.

“I’m glad you’re back, kid. Really I am.” Running a hand through his hair Tommy shook his head. “After you left for Santa Barbara this spitfire over here let me know and uh, _voiced_ her displeasure at me for egging you on.”

“If by voicing my displeasure means giving him a black eye.”

“Yeah, yeah. And what a right hook you got there.” He rubbed his face at the memory of the bruise. 

“You didn’t push me Tommy. Leaving was my choice, you just pointed the way.” Reclining back on the couch Ellie closed her eyes. That day on the farm replaying in her head. Waking up from another restless sleep and fishing out the map.

Locking eyes with Tommy she could see the questions on the tip of his tongue. _Did you find her? Did you do it? Is it finished?_ A look she could only describe as eagerness was on his face to hear her answers.

“Did you do it? Is it over?”

Shaking her head Ellie locked eyes with him. “Yes it’s over. Just not how you wanted.”

Before he could cut her off she continued on. “After leaving the farm that night I made my way to Santa Barabara. I eventually managed to find her boat on the coast. Long empty. Did my best to track her down. Started by trying to take the route she most likely would have.”

“Came upon this group calling themselves _The Rattlers.”_ she couldn’t resist throwing up jazz hands. “Real nasty piece of works, did not appreciate my humor,” Ellie mused. She stroked her bite from the clicker at that particular memory.

Tommy looked like he wanted to interrupt her again. “After meeting their little welcome committee I learned where their base was. Got confirmation Abby was there, and where.” 

“And you found her there?”

Chuckle dryly Ellie continues her story, “Fucked up their base and caused a riot. Found out from the captives that Abby was at what they called The Pillars by the beach.” Sitting back up she turned to look at them both. Part of her wanted to reach out to Dina for a comforting touch but she resisted. 

“So yeah, I found her. Tracked her all the way down and I had her. We fought on that beach. She was right there in my hands.” Ellie was hunched over now grabbing at phantom Abby’s throat. Squeezing more and more as she talked.

“After all of that though, I let her go.” Releasing the squeeze on phantom Abby she leaned back and looked at them both. “I couldn’t do it.”

The silence stretched on after that. One beat, two.

“You let her go?! After everything she did? When you _had_ her?” Tommy was dumbfounded over the news. Halfway out of the chair before being cut off.

“Tommy,” Dina’s sharp tone cut off his tirade before it could even begin. They held each other’s eyes in an intense stare. Tommy being the first to look away.

Ellie forgot how truly frightening her wrath could be when it rained down. Even just the threat of it. _Even angry she’s hot._ She tried not to smile at the thought.

“Yeah Tommy I let her go. It’s done, over.” Rising to her feet Ellie looked at Tommy. At the broken man before her that was her uncle. “I’m not pursuing her ever again. That’s not the news you wanted. I know.”

Tommy kept his mouth shut before glancing over at Dina he closed his eyes and nodded. 

Sitting back down in the chair he took some deep breaths. “I’m, I’m glad you’re alive. Really I am. Joel would of crawled out of his grave and murdered me if you had died.” 

“You’re right that’s not what I wanted to hear.”

“I know,” Ellie whispered.

“I’ve done a shit job, but I’ve been working on my anger.” He offered her a small smile. Tentative in its hope. “You don’t owe me Ellie. I wish I would of realized that a lot sooner.”

“A little late for that realization isn’t it.” Dina snapped. She still hadn’t moved from her spot on the couch. Eyes locked with Tommy’s. He looked ashamed at her words. Finally standing she left toward the kitchen. 

The two of them just looked at each other unsure of where to go from here. Another relationship that needed mending. Tommy made the first move clasping her shoulder. He didn’t say anything, just squeezed and tipped an invisible hat at her.

With that he showed himself out of the house. Ellie trailing after him to lock up. 

* * *

Dina was at the kitchen table, a tea kettle on the stove. She stared intently at the cup in front of her. It was one Ellie had found on patrol years ago and gifted to her. A blue mug with a cartoon face hugging itself with the words Hug in a Mug on it. That had earned her a kiss on the cheek.

“Was it really that bad on the farm? That you had to leave?” The questions came out soft. From Ellie’s spot in the doorway she almost missed them..

“No, no it wasn’t. I was happy.”

Leaning against the doorjamb Ellie looked at Dina’s hunched profile. “But underneath I wasn’t ok. The PTSD was still happening. Even now. I was afraid of hurting you. Hurting JJ.”

“I told you I regretted leaving. I did. But it’s what I needed. I wish I could of left differently.” Playing with fingers she couldn’t take her eyes off of Dina. She continued to stare at the mug in her hands.

“Took traveling half the country and a near death experience to knock something into place.” Going to sit down at the table Ellie gingerly pulled out the chair next to Dina. “I had her in my hands Dina, and I couldn’t do it.”

Facing Dina she tentatively placed her hand on the table between them. “Yeah we fought on that beach, but I had to force her. She just wanted to get that kid she was with to safety after I cut her down. Followed her over to some boats. Almost went separate ways.” Looking at her hand splayed across the table. The missing fingers on display.

“I put a fucking knife to that kids throat. Told her if she didn’t fight me I’d kill him.” Staring at the grains of the wood reminded her of the waves. Of the ocean and the fight. “She didn’t want to but after that she agreed.”

Ellie balled her hand into a fist in an attempt to reign her emotions in. Unsuccessfully stifling the sobs threatening to burst. “She was nothing like Seattle. She was so thin. Half dead. And I made her fight anyway.”

The sobs were slow and choking. She could feel Dina’s eyes on her. 

“After going at it I, I had her under the water. That’s how, how she got my fingers. Bit them right off.” Rubbing at her stubs they ached from the memory of their loss. “I had her under and, and I just couldn’t finish her off. I let her up. Told her to go and take him.”

Hiccuping she wiped at her eyes. She had to finish this, had to tell Dina. “All I could see was Joel, but a happy version. He wouldn’t of wanted this for me. I thought of that boy and how if she died he’d be all alone. Just like I was.”

Bowing her head Ellie tried to control her breathing as she brought herself back under control. Distantly she could feel Dina’s hand on her back rubbing soothing circles. “I thought of you, JJ, and what would happen if he were to end up alone. So I did it. I let her go.”

They stayed like that before the moment was broken by the tea kettle’s high pitch whistle. Breaking the spiral that Ellie was under from the memories. 

Dina poured them a cup of tea. Taking it Ellie let the warmth sink into her hands.

“I ended crying on that beach for so long until I couldn’t cry any longer. Letting, everything go. I didn’t want to continue on with that hatred.” Blowing on the tea Ellie tentatively took a sip. Letting the warm drink slide down her throat.

After a moment of silence Dina finally spoke. “Ellie, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say. I tried so hard to help you.” Setting down her tea she shifted to look at her better. “I was beside myself after you left. Even JJ noticed. After a while I returned to Jackson. I couldn’t stay there without you.”

Reaching for Ellie’s left hand Dina stroked the fingers there. “When I found you that night packing I knew you were gone before you walked out that door. I tried. I didn’t know what I was supposed to say then either.”

Ellie swallowed around her tongue. Her mouth felt full of cotton even after the tea.

“I told you I wasn’t sure if I could forgive you. That hasn’t changed and neither has me being willing to give _this_ a shot.” She raised their joined hands to her lips. Kissing each fingertip. On the stubs she placed a kiss on the knuckles before placing the hand over her heart.

“Ellie you said you didn’t want to continue on with hatred,” Dina caressed her hand as she spoke. “What did you mean by that?”

Allowing herself to sink into Dina’s familiar warmth unclenched something inside of her. “I didn’t want to keep chasing after revenge. I wanted to choose love, family.”

Looking up into Dina’s eyes she could see the soft brown flecked with darker shades. The small scar on her forehead left over from Seattle. Try as she might she would never be able to capture Dina’s true beauty in her sketches.

“I wanted to choose you. Always you,” she whispered. 

* * *

How long they stayed embraced she wasn't sure. Too swept up to question being in Dina’s arms again. Her warmth a soothing balm on all her aches and pains.

“It’s getting late,” Ellie said. Regretfully she pulled away. “I have to go find Maria so I can find somewhere to bunk down.”

“I’m sure if you asked nicely Japan would share her stable with you,” Dina retorted.

Ellie smiled. “I dunno I might just steal her blanket. Besides like her favorite rider she kicks.”

That earned her a slap on the arm. With a laugh she stood to get her things. It was easy to settle into the rhythm they had before.

Before grabbing her book bag she snuck into JJ’s room. _Out like a light_. He hadn’t woken from all the commotion downstairs. Sprawled out on his back with the blanket barely covering him. Tucking him in she couldn’t help but marvel over her son.

Stealing out of the room she grabbed her stuff before heading back downstairs.

“Thank you Dina, for everything.”

“If you want to sing me praises,” Dina said “by all means keep talking.”

Ellie just chuckled at that. Settling her book bag onto the kitchen chair to make sure everything was packed away.

“I mean someone has to. JJ can’t talk just-” Dina’s teasing cut off midway. Ellie looked up from adjusting her rifle. Dina looked like she had seen a ghost.

“Dina?”

Looking up from her bag Ellie saw that Dina had paled dropping the rag she had been holding. Dina’s breaths were starting to come in short and fast. 

Bag completely forgotten. Ellie rushed over and cradled her face. “Hey easy. Breathe Dina, nice and slow.”

This felt like a deja vu in reverse..

Cradling her against her chest Ellie rubbed soothing circles on her back. 

“I’m right here Dina.”

“Seeing you about to leave all over again. I just,” Dina sobbed into her shirt.

“Don’t go. My heart can’t bear to watch you walk out again.” The words were uttered softly into the crook of her neck.

“Stay.”

“I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me,” Ellie said. Breaking apart Ellie headed over to grab her stuff. “Come on it’s been a long day. We should both get some sleep.”

“Who are you and what have you done with the real Ellie Williams?” Dina couldn’t help the tease. Squeezing on her hand she still hadn’t let go.

“Every blind squirrel gets its nut. Or however that saying goes.”

Heading up the steps they finally split ways. Ellie returned to the small room stowing her gear safely away from any little hands that might get a little too curious.

Taking off her jeans she climbed into bed. As exhausting as the day had been emotionally sleep eluded her. Shutting her eyes she tried to even out her breathing and think of the happier moments with Dina and JJ. 

When sleep almost was ready to welcome her she heard the door creak open. Snapping her eyes wide open to see Dina in the doorway. She stood there for a moment face shrouded in shadows before padding over the small bed.

“Scooch over. I know you’re awake.”

“So bossy.” Moving to let her in resulted in a tangle of limbs. 

They fell asleep like that. Tangled up in one another as they clutched at each other. Before fading into soft cuddling with sleep. Which is how the sun would find them in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

The morning light peaked through the cracks in the curtains as dawn approached. Ellie couldn’t remember the last time she had slept so peacefully. No dreams, no nightmares, just a full deep restful sleep. Dina stirred in her arms, cuddling just that bit closer.

The small bed really wasn’t meant for two people but they managed to fit without falling off. Ellie stroked Dina’s head where it rested on her chest. The smaller girl was draped over her, limbs tangled with hers. She couldn’t help but stare in wonder at her as she slept.

_ She’s so gorgeous.  _ Hair messy and gently falling across her shoulders she smoothed it out of the way. Ellie couldn’t help that she would randomly wake after a few hours of sleep. Body still on high alert from the past months' travel. For once she was glad for that as she continued to admire the smaller girl in her arms.

Ellie just layed there idly stroking soothing patterns against Dina’s back. Content to be used as a giant body pillow. After some time she found herself drifting off into a light sleep once more.

In what seemed minutes Ellie found herself waking once more. Distantly she could hear JJ as he babbled and played with something. Dina was also beginning to stir awake in her arms.

“Your son is awake,” she murmured. Not even bothering to open her eyes.

“Before sunrise he’s yours. Ow.” Ellie couldn’t help but wince from where Dina had pinched her.

“So violent,” Ellie whined. She felt her fingers dig into her side at that. “You know if I go get him, I would have to get out of bed.” 

That earned her a soft push out of the bed. Dina began to disentangle herself from her at that. Slowly Ellie got up stretching out the kinks from the night's sleep. Before heading to grab her potato. 

JJ was happily sitting up enacting some great adventure with his toys. Bashing them against each other and the crib. He happily showed her the stuffed bear he had been playing with. Ollie in his other hand.

“Hey spud, whatcha got there.” Picking him up she settled him on her hip. Careful not to put him on her bad side. “How ‘bout we go downstairs for some breakfast hmmm?”

Taking his babbles as agreement she headed off downstairs. 

Getting JJ to eat was both simple enough. Her little potato was hungry and more kept trying to eat the next spoonful before he had finished the previous mouthful. 

“The food is supposed to go in his mouth, not end up on his shirt.”

“Really I thought that was optional.” Ellie replied, not even bothering to take her eyes off JJ.

“So long as you’re the one to clean him up.” 

Dina walked over and kissed JJ on the head. “Good morning JJ.”

Ellie felt a sense of deja vu. Memories of previous mornings in the farm house where Dina would greet them both with a kiss and good morning. She tamped down the sense of loss. She brought this upon herself.

Dina sat a piece of toast in front of her before joining them at the table with her own.

“I’ll be dropping him off at daycare later this morning. I have to stop by the clinic and speak with Doctor Roberts about my shifts.” 

The question of ‘Will you be alright by yourself?’ went unasked.

Ellie just nodded and nibbled on the toast in front of her. “I still have to speak with Maria. I can’t hole up in here forever.”

She tore a piece of toast off and offered it to JJ who ate it happily. “I still have to visit him.”

Dina nodded in understanding at that. Alternating between feeding herself and JJ they let the morning peace wash over them.

* * *

After breakfast they got dressed for the day. 

After traveling so long with a back pack it was odd not to have one as she went about Jackson. Things hadn’t changed all that much. The streets still bustled with people going about their day.

Ellie found herself walking towards the graveyard. Her feet carrying her there without her even thinking about it. Joel’s grave was as she remembered with the addition of fresh flowers. Someone she guessed Tommy had brought them.

Sitting down in front of his tombstone she didn’t know what to say. A rush of emotions overwhelmed her. Memories of him washing over her. She let them crash over her. THis time though she let the good ones surface. 

“Hey old man. Aren’t we quite the pair.” 

Tracing the petals on the flowers she closed her eyes and breathed in the smell. Months ago she wouldn’t of been able to do this. The pain was still there just not as raw.

“I went and did some reckless things. I couldn’t get over my grief, my pain. I bottled it all up inside and it ate at me.” 

Ellie traced his name on the stone.

“I left Dina and potato behind to chase after Abby. Thought if I killed her I could move on. In a way I did.”

She ran her thumb over her stubs. Still tender and raw after all this time.

“I wanted to kill her so badly for killing you. But more from taking my chance to forgive you.” Her voice wavered with emotion as she talked.

“Then after tracking her down I didn’t even do that. I thought of you and I was finally able to picture you happy.” Tears were running down her face now. She let them flow taking deep breaths to hold back the sobs.

“After that something finally gave in me. I let go of a lot on that beach. Now I’m back here in Jackson.” Ellie wiped at her eyes. She was done crying from grief.

“You would of been an amazing grandpa. I wish you would of gotten to meet JJ.” Standing Ellie patted his grave. “I’m going to try and make things right with Dina. I’m going to be there for them both.”

“For what it’s worth you showin’ up again is a good start.” Tommy’s southern drawl startled her.

Turning she looked at him as he slowly walked over to join her.

“Joel I know you would have beat me to death for sending her out to California. I just couldn’t let go.” He placed his hand on top of the grave next to hers

“Ellie, I’ve been selfish. You being alive is what matters.” He gave her a sad smile. “Had to have the sense knocked into me to realize that.”

“She does throw a mean punch doesn’t she,” Ellie replied. 

“I hope you’ll forgive me for pushing you into leaving.”

“Like I said Tommy you just pointed the way. I choose to go.”

“I’d like to start making it up to you anyways. How ‘bout we head over to the Clay Pit?” Tommy asks her. A tentative peace offering.

“Only if you're buying,” Ellie teased. 

They still had a ways to go for their relationship. But it was a start.

* * *

The Clay Pit was bustling with people coming and going. Tommy managed to secure them a table in the corner. She felt relieved at the secluded spot. Finding it hard to break old habits of vigilance by watching every corner of the room.

“Alright you too what’ll it be?” 

“We’ll have the bbq pork sandwiches Lucy. Tell Sal not to skimp on my sauce now.” Tommy ordered for them as he chatted up Lucy.

After she left there was an uneasy silence between them.

“How’s your wounds? Healing up alright?” Tommy gestured at her everything really. She was still healing from her wounds from Santa Barbara. 

“Yeah, Dina is making sure I actually take care of myself for once. Doctor Roberts gave me an earful when she saw me.” She looked at her left hand. The stubs had been the slowest thing to heal. Slowly but surely the skin was growing back leaving them tender.

“She’s always been like that. Even way back when we were running with the Fireflies.” Tommy smiled at the thought.

“She was a Firefly?” Ellie was surprised to learn that. They had never mentioned it. How many ex Fireflies were there in Jackson?

“Yeah, that she was,” he said as he leaned back as Lucy started placing their food on the table.

“Here you go you two and here’s some extra sauce for you if that still isn’t enough,” Lucy said as she placed the extra container of bbq sauce down.

“You’re my hero,” with that said Tommy started on his dripping mess of a sandwich.

With a smile and grateful nod to Lucy she started in on her own albeit less saucey sandwich. Tommy seemed to be doing better from what she could tell of her last trip into Jackson. That seemed a lifetime ago before Santa Barbara.

“I know Joel wanted to keep you safe and not openly share your, uh-” glancing around he lowered his voice. “Gifts.”

“He made sure to always stress how I handled my  _ guitar _ .” Giving him a pointed look while glancing about at the other patrons.

“Well I know Charlotte, Doctor Roberts, would be willing to listen to your  _ guitar _ problems. She’s an old trusted friend.” Giving her right hand a meaningful look. She still hadn’t done anything to cover the bite besides keeping it wrapped up when leaving the house.

Ellie didn’t say anything to that looking down at her wrapped hand. Joel had instilled into her not to tell anyone, ever, about her immunity. The exception being Dina.

“Look just think it over. Maria can vouch for her discretion.” He raised his hands when she shot him a look at that. “And no, Maria was not a secret ex-Firefly.”

“Speaking of Maria I need to see her. Know where I might find her?”

Tommy stacked their empty plates up on the edge. “Try the town hall. If she’s not there you’ll be able to find out from Nick.”

She nodded in thanks at him getting ready to leave.

“Ellie,” he called after her. “I really am glad you’re back.”

“Yeah me too Uncle Tommy.”

With a parting smile heard off to find Maria.

* * *

After a brief discussion with Nick on Maria’s whereabouts. Ellie found herself heading off in the direction of the stables. Passing by the familiar shops on Main Street. Jackson really hadn’t changed in her absence.

“Ellie, you’re really back. Heard folks gossiping about that. Welcome back.” Tom gave her a big smile as he greeted her.

“Thanks Tom, you seen Maria?”

“Should be talking with Jeremy about the new horses.” He pointed her towards one of the far stable buildings.

Heading off that way she passed a few more people that recognized her. She nodded at them as she passed. She tried not to chafe at all the attention she was getting.

Spotting Maria she headed over towards her. She was with Jeremy, another older burly guy she didn’t recognize and a couple of dogs.

“Excuse me fellas. I think you two can handle the rest from here.” WIth that Maria excused herself from them and met up with Ellie.

“Hey Maria,” Ellie acknowledged and offered a small smile.

“Come on let’s go to the office so we can talk.” With that Maria started leading the way. “I wasn’t expecting you to come see me so soon. I was going to show up to see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, me too,” Ellie admitted.

Heading inside Maria headed towards one of the desks taking a srat. She motioned for her to take the other one across from her.

“You’re back. Where to start?” Rubbing her temple she leaned back in the chair. “Is it finished? Are you staying?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m done. I’m here to stay.” she replied. 

Before she could elaborate any further Maria raised her hand. “I’m sure you’ve already went over this with Dina and my idiot husband. Spare me the details for now. You being back is all I need to know right now.”

Maria leaned back in her chair and eyed her up. Ellie couldn’t help but squirm under her gaze. 

“Where have you been sleeping?” 

“Dina actually has been letting me use the spare bedroom,” Ellie revealed. 

Maria’s eyebrows only lifted a little otherwise she didn’t show her surprise. That she is allowed to stay with Dina and JJ was a blessing she didn’t tend to fuck up.

“Alright Ellie I can’t beat around the bush and make exceptions, family or not. You’ll have to contribute to Jackson. At least once Doctor Roberts clears you.” Maria let her gaze rake over Ellie’s still battered form. “You look better than that first night but you still look…. Rough around the edges.”

“You mean I still look like crap,” Ellie snorted at that. “Dina has made sure I followed Doctor Roberts orders.”

“No patrol duty till your back up to full strength, barring anything major. Few watchtower shifts in the future.” Maria seemed to be off in thought as she looked at her. “I know you just got back so nothing just yet.”

“You know we got a new resident in a while back, Big Mike. He was the big fella you saw back there with me and Jeremy.” She explained as she nodded more to herself at some internal conversation.

“He’s been helping with the horses to train them up not to get spooked.” Maria began as she looked thoughtful. “That and he’s our unofficial Kennel Master now for dogs. Been training some for hunting. He could use another hand with that.”

“So you want me to help out at the stables and be Big Mike’s assistant?” Ellie guessed. Relieved she wouldn't have to go out on patrol anytime soon. Much as it pained her to admit she was still recovering from her stint to and from Santa Barbara.

“You got it. I’ll introduce you to him some other time. He was about to head off to catch some sleep before guard duty tonight.” With that Maria nodded to herself satisfied with the results.

“Maria, I uh, I talked to Tommy earlier. He said Doctor Roberts used to be a Firefly and uh was trustworthy with secrets.” Ellie gestured at her arm. “Said you could vouch for her”

“She’s trustworthy and discrete.” Maria acknowledged. “If you were to discuss your… medical history with her she’d be open minded and quiet.”

Ellie just nodded at that. Joel had drilled into her to never reveal her immunity. Always taking precautions such as wearing a mask. Old habits were hard to break. She looked at her hand where her clicker bite was covered. Still if both Tommy and Maria vouched for her….. Maybe.

“Alright then if that settles everything for now I gotta get back to it.” With that Maria stood and gave her a soft smile. Resting her hand on Ellie’s shoulder she gave it a gentle squeeze. 

“I truly am glad you’re back and here to stay.” Maria finished. “Let me know if you need anything.” With that she strode out of the office.

Ellie smiled glad that at least that reunion went smoothly. Standing up she stretched and winced when her side complained. Rubbing it tenderly she thought she might just pay the good doctor a visit tomorrow after all.

Whether she’d reveal her immunity she hadn’t decided yet. She still had plenty of injuries to use as an excuse to talk about. Even if it resulted in another lecture.

Regardless she was going to prove that she was here to stay. Patching herself up and contributing were actions she could show Dina she meant what she said.

Thinking of Dina she smiled. She had a lot to prove to show her words weren’t just talk.

**Author's Note:**

> Also as both Dina and Jesse don’t have last names I’ve decided to give them the voice actors last names. Names are hard.


End file.
